I wrote this as a reminder of what I dislike about myself so I can do better.

I have no faith in myself.
I do not know how intelligent I am.
I do not know what I am capable of.
I blame myself.
I regret too much and too often.
I am stubborn and inflexible.
I am secretive.
I have high expectations for myself and others.
I am easily disappointed.
I am passive.
I am scared of confrontation.
I let others take advantage of me.
I complain.
I can get annoying.
I get stressed out easily.
I don't know how to handle things when I am stressed out.
I miss the big picture.
I don't take care of myself and it worries other people.
I am easily broken and discouraged.
I struggle with a lot of problems.
I struggle with an eating disorder.
I struggle with anxiety and panic disorder.
I struggled with depression.
I swear a lot.
I don't like people to know about me so I lie and put on a phony exterior.
I lie about important things because I don't want to deal with them.
I use jokes to speak, but my just kidding means I'm too scared to really say it.
I care about others more than I take care of myself.
I lie because I don't want you to know what is really going on inside because I think I'm screwed up and I don't want you to know.. because I wish it wasn't true.

maybe i'm in love with this whole deal
and maybe i'm just fooling myself.

i have so much going for me, and yet, i never seem to be satisfied.
i have high standards for myself, and yet, i don't see them.
i want to do so much that i end up doing very little.


aiyasdf;laskdjfasd
step it up, lg

most of the time.. i don't say anything when i do nice things because i don't want appreciation or recognition (i want to try to be as selfless as i can possibly be- think phoebe from Friends).

but i really hate it when i'm nice and i get owned by it!!!! i hate it when people get defensive at things that i say when they have NO REASON to be. i seriously dont think that i give them reason to! i think i'm pretty nice in general.. even when i'm angry. i'm honest when i'm angry. if i don't want to talk to you, i'll tell you. i hate talking to people when i'm angry.. and hate it more that they talk to me when they're angry.

but sometimes i do nice things for ppl and dont tell them and they get angry at me. they fight unfair. i hate when i call people out and they say something like.. "well YOU do this this this." okay, maybe i'm guilty of it too, but not to the extent that some people do it. i'll work on it too. really, i will.

and no, i'm not just talking about one person. its like.. everyone. i hate when people are tactless and dont know that they me when i am just being kind. i hate it a lot when people hit my achilles heel ... like say things where they KNOW it'll hurt. and that happens a lot.

just cause i dont look angry or hurt doesn't mean i'm NOT. :( booo on you all.


ps. tell me if i do this too. i want to know and change.

I need to do some quiet time.
Especially in this time that I'm busy.

It's when you're busy planning.. that you miss out on life.
And it's true.

Hello Everyone!

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on being recommended for admission to the UC Davis Teaching Credential Program! You should/will be receiving an email from graduate studies, hopefully within 2 weeks with notification of your admission.

The new student orientation for you is scheduled for Friday, May 9th from 5-7pm. Please see the attached information for more details.




...anticipation blows hard.

think ilu.

It all boils down to tomorrow! 5pm and all the effort (the procrastinated effort) that I have put into this application will be sent electronically to the UCD School of Education. Wish me luck! :)

psc extra credit, nut 10 extra credit, 3 critiques, exb mt, rfl signup

read manuscripts and work on nut10 tonight!